Self-Care is Not a To-Do List: A Gentle Approach for Women Entrepreneurs
Let’s get real about self-care. It’s not about fancy spa days or another checklist. It’s about listening to your body and giving yourself what you truly need.
As women entrepreneurs, we’re pros at taking care of everyone else. We show up for clients. We manage families. We keep businesses running. But who takes care of us?
What You’ll Learn:
- Self-care is about paying attention, not perfection
- Your body sends signals—learn to listen
- Breathing and hydration are powerful self-care tools
- Boundaries protect your energy and creativity
Forget what Instagram tells you about self-care. Real self-care is simple. It’s drinking water when you’re thirsty. It’s taking a deep breath between tough client calls. It’s walking away from your computer and stretching.
Think of self-care like talking to a good friend. Would you tell your best friend to push through exhaustion? Probably not. You’d say, “Rest. Drink some water. Take a break.”
The magic happens when you start noticing what your body needs. Maybe that’s a 5-minute walk. Maybe it’s saying no to one more meeting. Maybe it’s going to bed early.
Remember
Self-care isn’t complicated. It doesn’t require a shopping list or elaborate rituals. It just requires you to pause and listen.
Your business needs you—healthy, whole, and energized. And that starts with taking care of yourself, one gentle moment at a time.
Listen to the episode to learn more about what self-care really looks like as an entrepreneur.
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TRANSCRIPT:
A Gentle Business Includes Self-Care Without Checklists
[00:00:00] Marta Goertzen: I’ve recently realized that I’ve gotten self-care—or at least the idea of what self-care really is—wrong over the years. Even here on the podcast, I’ve talked about it from the wrong perspective and approach.
In future episodes, you’ll hear me talking about self-care differently. Today, we’ll dive into the question: What does self-care really look like?
[00:00:44] Welcome to Doing Business Gently. I’m your host, Marta Goertzen, and this is a podcast for women who are ready to think and do business from a place of purpose and intention.
If that sounds like you—and you’ve wondered what it means to have a gentle and aligned business—you are in the right place. This is a safe space where we talk about life-business integration. We approach this idea by creating a life-first business, one that is aligned to fit your values, priorities, personality, and the current season of life you’re in.
We discuss how to find business clarity so you’re not constantly second-guessing every decision. We explore how faith and business can work together, and how to do this all from a place of rest and habit.
[00:01:44] In previous episodes, I’ve described self-care as a habit—which I still firmly believe in. Our businesses are built on healthy habits, and how we take care of ourselves needs to be habitual. This means not ignoring our needs or rushing to the next thing.
However, I’ve previously suggested that self-care needs to be scheduled—making appointments to take care of ourselves, treating it like the next item on a to-do list. While creating a habit of rest is important, I’ve realized this approach isn’t quite right.
[00:02:29] This insight came through working with a new counselor. We’ve talked deeply about what self-care truly means, moving beyond what social media has distorted as realistic, life-giving self-care.
I firmly believe that rest—or self-care, however you define it—is the foundation of a gentle business. When designing a gentle business, self-care must be included. As women, we are caregivers and nurturers who want to help everyone, often putting family and business before our own needs.
This isn’t necessarily wrong. There are seasons when business or family must be a priority. But when do we make ourselves a priority?
[00:03:36] As caregivers and nurturers, we risk burnout if we don’t understand what self-care really is. We’ve complicated it so much, creating elaborate to-do lists instead of recognizing the simplicity of caring for ourselves.
We pour so much energy into caring for clients, ensuring our business runs smoothly, and taking care of family that we become too exhausted to take care of ourselves. Speaking from personal experience, burnout is not a pretty place to be.
[00:04:23] We often find ourselves pushing from one task to the next, without questioning whether that’s the best approach. Burnout and constant hustling drain our physical, mental, emotional, and creative energies. Ignoring what your body needs—mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally—means missing a foundational pillar of a gentle business.
[00:05:13] Let me be clear: Self-care is not a luxury. It’s not something to do “when I have time.” It’s about being aware of what your body, mind, and spirit need, and not pushing through or ignoring those needs.
In an earlier episode, I shared Dr. Sandra Dalton Smith’s work about seven types of rest: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, creative, relational, and sensory. For entrepreneurs, I add an eighth: learning to rest from work.
[00:06:13] This doesn’t mean practicing all eight areas daily or even monthly. We have seasons where different life and business areas need more attention.
At its core, self-care is learning to pay attention and acknowledge what your body is trying to tell you—sometimes even screaming at you.
In our Instagram and Pinterest world, we’ve turned self-care into an industry, a checklist of practices. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, we’ve started doing self-care with an expected outcome, which often makes it harder.
[00:07:26] For years, I would create weekly self-care lists—not to complete every item, but to have options. If my feet were tired, I might do a foot bath. If exhausted, I’d go to bed early. But I was missing the point of self-care by expecting specific results.
Discussing this with my counselor, I realized I’d made self-care another to-do list item. I’d feel guilty if I didn’t “do” self-care that day or week, which helped neither me nor my business.
[00:08:39] So what does self-care really look like? It starts with paying attention—some call this mindfulness or “checking in.” Ask yourself: What does my body need? What does my brain need? Am I struggling spiritually? Do I feel emotionally or physically drained?
[00:09:02] Sometimes, it’s as simple as breathing. I’ve been working on this with my counselor. I often breathe shallowly, almost in a fight-or-flight response without realizing it. Self-care means checking your posture, giving your lungs room, allowing your diaphragm to expand.
Take a moment to breathe, to reset—without judgment or expectation.
[00:10:09] Learn to notice how your body reacts to stimuli. After a difficult client call or a stressful email, pause. Give yourself permission to be for a few minutes before tackling the next task.
[00:10:39] Hydration is another basic self-care practice. Drink water when you’re thirsty. When your body realizes you’re finally listening, it will thank you.
[00:11:40] “Selah”—a core element of my brand—means to pause, to calmly think. Pausing can be incredibly nurturing. It doesn’t require much—maybe a deep breath, stepping outside, walking around to discharge energy.
[00:12:55] Consider your nutrition and movement. Are you paying attention to what you eat? What your body craves? Movement matters too—stretching, walking, dancing, anything that gets you away from devices.
[00:14:12] Self-care is about mindful moments. Check in emotionally and physically. Use the HALT method: Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired?
[00:14:38] Notice that none of this is complicated. It’s about paying attention and recognizing signals of depletion, then addressing them.
[00:15:00] Consider setting boundaries. This might mean adding buffers between client appointments, limiting daily calls, or not eating at your desk.
[00:16:24] My challenge to you: Pick one area to focus on this week. Redefine what self-care means to you. Listen to what your body is asking for.
[00:17:46] When you learn to pay attention, your body will thank you. You’ll enforce better boundaries between work and personal life. You’ll start noticing what you truly need.
[00:18:33] As you layer on self-care practices, do so with intention and purpose, recognizing what your mind, body, and spirit need.
[00:19:15] Keep it simple. Choose one thing and say, “I hear you. I acknowledge you. I’m sorry for ignoring you for so long.”
[00:19:28] Thank you for joining me as we explore self-care and its role in designing a gentle business. Remember: If you’re not taking care of yourself, you cannot have a gentle business.
In the next episode, we’ll continue exploring another gentle business building block to help you create a simple, sustainable business where you can do business gently.
Marta Goertzen is a Gentle Business Coach and founder of Selah Studios, host of the Doing Business Gently podcast. She helps Christian women entrepreneurs over 50 rediscover who they’ve become, realign their business to match, and fall in love with their work again, gently, at their pace, without starting over. As an avid photographer and lover of the outdoors, she daily explores the trails and beaches of the South Central Oregon Coast with her dog Mochi in tow. Take the free Business Alignment Audit as your gentle first step, a way to pause, get honest, and see clearly where you and your business are right now: https://SelahStudios.co/alignmentaudit