EP 114 – Permission to Rest for the Chronically Capable Entrepreneur

In this Selah Sessions panel replay, Marta sits down with Diane Cunningham Ellis, Danielle Ralston, and Dr. Melissa Oden to talk honestly about the seasons they ignored rest, what it cost them, and what rest actually looks like now, beyond sleep, beyond a to-do list, beyond guilt.

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We Waited Too Long, and It Cost Us

Every woman on this panel has a story about ignoring rest until there was no choice left.

• Diane spent years hiding an alcohol addiction behind the weight of “being responsible.” She’s now 13 years sober.
• Danielle’s body shut down with an MS diagnosis after years of running herself into the ground trying to prove she could do it all.
• Melissa ended up in the ER with blood pressure numbers she still won’t say out loud, and she’ll tell you plainly: she should have died that night.

None of us set out to reach that point. We just kept saying yes, kept pushing, and told ourselves we’d rest later.

Rest Isn’t Just About Sleep, It’s Deeper Than That

One thing became clear fast, none of the burnout, addiction, or health scares we talked about could have been fixed with a nap.

Real rest looked different for each of us:

• For Danielle, it meant learning to let her community hold her, instead of holding everyone else.
• For Diane, it meant giving herself permission for fun and connection, even when it looked like she “should” be working.
• For Melissa, it meant setting a hard stop at the end of her workday and reconnecting with her childhood church.

Rest, it turns out, is less about hours of sleep and more about what actually restores you.

Why This Is Especially Hard for Christian Women

We spent a good chunk of this conversation on a question that doesn’t get asked enough: why do Christian women in particular struggle so much with rest?

A few things came up again and again:

• We were taught that our value comes from serving, doing, and being available
• Guilt and martyrdom get tangled up with faith in ways that are hard to untangle
• Western culture rarely builds in the kind of rhythm and rest that other cultures treat as sacred

And yet, as we talked about on the panel, scripture tells a different story. Jesus slept in the boat during the storm. He withdrew to pray. He didn’t feel guilty about either.

What Working From Rest Actually Looks Like

This isn’t about doing less and calling it a day. It’s about a different starting point.

For the women on this panel, working from rest now means:

• Checking in with what your body and energy actually have to give that day, instead of forcing a fixed to-do list
• Letting go of the fear of missing out on the “one more thing” that might change everything
• Accepting what didn’t get done today will still be there tomorrow, and that’s okay
• Finding your version of rest and restoration, even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s

An Honest Conversation, Not a Formula

There’s no five-step plan in this episode. What you’ll get instead is three women being honest about the seasons they got it wrong, what changed, and what rest looks like for them now that they’ve stopped treating it like something to earn.

If you’ve ever felt the weight of being the capable one, the responsible one, the one who holds it all together… I think you’ll find yourself somewhere in this conversation.

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Rest Series: Rest for the Chronically Capable Entrepreneur

• Episode 109: Rest Isn’t a Luxury, It’s a Business Strategy (the 5 types you’re missing)
• Episode 110: You’re not lazy, you’re mentally maxed out 
• Episode 111: Why You Need Emotional Rest (and What It Feels Like When You Don’t Get It)
• Episode 112: You Are the Asset and Physical Rest is How You Protect it
• Episode 113: Spiritual Rest: You Can Do Everything Right and Still Feel Disconnected
• Episode 114: Selah Sessions: Permission to Rest for the Chronically Capable Entrepreneur

Links & Resources:

• Click here to get to know our guests panelists
• Listen this full series about rest and entrepreneurship here
• Want to figure out what rest actually looks like for you? Take the free quiz at ItStartsWithRest.com/quiz.